4th Annual SBS Vigil News Story

The vigil was a great time for family and friends affected by SBS to gather in support of each other and their children. To watch the news story and read the article on the vigil please click HERE

A big thank you to all of the families and organizations for your support of this event. Here is to next year! Location to be announced June 2010!

5 years from your passing..

I don't tend to say too much this 36 hour time period because the void that is forever present in my heart remains, and the wound remains open and fresh.. Sometimes I feel I should be positive, and give hope, but today I do not come to you with any of the such. There is nothing worse than loosing your child to murder. Though the situations surrounding could worsen, as I could not have the support that I have beside me.. My mind never wanders far from the day that Madi passed nor the moments or months prior, that include so many feelings... and the memories are forever in my heart..

This is a blog of inspiration, so I feel I must say this. If forgiveness of whom hurt your child or loved one is a burden on your heart and a weight on your shoulders that you can no longer bear, bring the one above in and allow him to handle your heart.

Often times I wish there was much more I could say or bring forth to comfort those in their time of need. It is in a helpless state that I may find the right words, and other times shield my pain by offering a smile to a complete stranger.

For the past 5 years I have learned to "deal" with the fact that Madilyne is gone, and gone forever. I have learned that you never move past the loss of a child, that you only learn how to cope with the grief on a daily basis. It is because of her that I have learned to grow beyond anything I could have ever imagined, and it because of her that I have been blessed with the comfort and love of all of you.

Everyday is a great struggle to keep going, but I have my faith in my heart, and the support of all of you to keep me walking down this path of healing. So on this day I want to say thank you..

On April 14th 2005, Madilyne was pronounced brain dead at exactly 9:50am.. I asked if the doctors were to unhook her from the machines, they would do so and hand her immediately to me.. If she was to take a flight home, I wanted to be as close as I could in that moment to comfort her that I would NEVER let go..

Heres to Madilyne, a little girl that brought so much love and joy into so many lives, and as her legacy lives in, the awareness she brings forth to those in trying times..

All my love to all.
Rachel

Putting Things In Perspective…

This time of year is particularly difficult on me. Although Spring is just around the corner, and with this season brings the promise of things new and fresh, the anniversary of my daughter’s attack is also accompanying it. I cannot enter into this time of year without reflection on the past, and continued hope for the future. I remember Riley three years ago…playing carefree in the snow on our days off, licking cake batter from a mixer, staying in our pajamas all day, dancing to her songs, coloring and playing play doh. I think about how much our lives have changed in the past three years…our once seemingly carefree lives have been traded in for one engrossed with plans, appointments, and follow-ups. There is always something on our agenda…a letter to write, a phone call to make. We no longer drop things on a moments notice and go…any outing takes careful planning and preparation, even a trip to the store. Some relationships have sadly diminished over time…with our lives “normalizing” (as much as it can be considered “normal”), and the “drama” of the attack and trial fading, some relationships have ceased. I think it is hard for people to understand that we cannot be same people we used to be, because our daughter, and family, takes precedence over everything else. We physically and mentally cannot always be there for others, because everything we have to offer always goes to Riley first. Luckily, we still have wonderful people in our lives that offer us support, understand, and accept this reality…
Even though it is painful to think about who Riley once was, and how our life used to be, in the same thought I realize how lucky we are. Our daughter is still here, and she has made some amazing progress in the past three years, far exceeding the expectations of her doctors and therapists. She never fails to surprise us, and continues to be a source of inspiration, strength, and perseverance. I feel that I have grown as a person and I have accomplished things that I never thought would be possible because of her. As a result of this experience, I feel that I now have a true purpose in life. I am full of hope, and believe in miracles, because I have witnessed one first-hand!!! It amazes me that Riley’s story has touched so many lives, I am so proud and blessed to be her mother!!!
This was not the life we imagined for ourselves when we became parents- the commercial variety, complete with the white picket fence. But, for some reason, this path was chosen for us, so we will embrace it and move forward. My hope for those who know Riley’s story and read my blogs is simple- always appreciate your children, continue to have hope, and know what is important in life. Life can change in an instant, as I experienced first-hand three years ago. Each day is a gift...take each moment and challenge as it comes, and make the best of it.

~Lisa

Hoping for justice, as a trial draws near

Little Bryan and his family could use the power of prayer, or powerful thoughts from our readers. We can only hope for the best for you Randee, and we are all here to offer you our support.
Many hugs sent your way
{Angela and the SBS Support Network family}

With the trial just a few months away, I am reminded of how far we have come in the past year. I am so grateful for all the amazing leaps Bryan and my family have made, but in the same mind frame I am so angry! Bryan has gone through so much and continues to have to. Sure we have lots of good days, and he is an amazing little boy, doing things some children his age, that have never been injured cant do, but we also have bad days. Days where he doesn’t sleep, he cant calm down and he complains with headaches..

All this is so hard to cope with when the person, who in frustration almost killed my sweet, happy little boy who had a wonderful future ahead of him, is living her life as happy as ever. She sends her kids to the school that she chooses, she smiles with her family and hasn’t missed the things we have missed. She tucks her babies into bed at night and doesn’t have to look down at a scar and be reminded of all the pain that little innocent person endured. She didn’t spend Christmas in a hospital with one child while her others where with family. She doesn’t have to hold down a crying baby while they poke and take x-rays. She doesn’t have to have her stomach in knots waiting for test results that will tell if her child has to take more seizure medications. She doesn’t have to feel like she is abandoning her other children because a sick child has required so much time that day. She doesn’t go to bed at night exhausted and worried about the future health of her child, or the future of her family.

I'm sorry for this being such a negative blog, but it’s the reality of Shaken Baby Syndrome, I think other parents or caregivers of SBS survivors feel this way. Luckily, I only have these days once in awhile, and can way more often smile and know how blessed I am and be thankful to be the mommy of a Shaken Baby Syndrome Survivor, the mommy to Brady and Brayson, and the wife of such a strong man.
I want to ask everyone to please say a prayer for Bryan's recovery as well as for Justice to be served. I know that without the amazing prayer chains my family and I would not have made it this far.

Love to you all,
Randee (Bryan's mommy)

My Blessings (By Lisa)

I hope all of you experience a beautiful Christmas filled with nothing more than love and beautiful blessings. From everyone here on SBS Support Network

For my family, and their continued support…I am grateful.

For my husband, and my marriage…I am grateful.

For every single person that took the time to visit us in the hospital…I am grateful.

For every donation to Riley…I am grateful.

For every friend who has supported us, and wanted nothing in return…I am grateful.

For Dr. Waldman, who saved my daughter’s life…I am eternally grateful.

For Riley’s school teachers, staff, and one-on-one aide…I am grateful.

For every letter, gift, and card …I am grateful.

For those people who worked endlessly on Riley’s case…I am grateful.

For each person who reached out to us…I am grateful.

For the community of SBS victims and survivors…I am grateful.

For each thought and prayer…I am grateful.

For every message of encouragement…I am grateful.

For those who worried about me and my well-being, while my focus was on Riley …I am grateful.

For each new treatment and therapy…I am grateful.

For every doctor, nurse, and therapist who has helped Riley…I am grateful.

For our coworkers, who donated time, money, and covered for us during our absences…I am grateful.

For my determination…I am grateful.

For every person that supported us during the trial…I am grateful.

For the gift of my son…I am grateful.

For Riley’s continued strength and perseverance…I am grateful.

For every meal or sandwich brought to us in the hospital…I am grateful.

For each accommodation made for Riley…I am grateful.

For each of Riley’s caseworkers…I am grateful.

For every one of Riley’s improvements, large or small…I am grateful.

For every person that still stands by us…I am grateful.

For hope…I am grateful.

For each moment with my daughter, my angel…I am grateful.

Happy New Year!

Just wanted to take a moment and wish you all a very Happy and Safe New Year! From all of us here at the Shaken Baby Syndrome Support Network! <3

A Christmas Miracle~Bryan's Story

During this time of year there is a flurry activity out there. If everyone could take a moment and sit down to reflect the many blessings we recieve each and everyday. Certainly someone is struggling today, but to hear such an amazing story, the story of Bryan and his near death, how he fought and won against all odds, is certainly worth celebrating, and in my book, is considered a beautiful Christmas Miracle.

Thank you Randee for sharing your child's story with us, what an amazing little boy you have!
~Angela
On December 14, 2008 I got a call from my ex-husband saying that our son had fallen off the bunk bed while with a sitter and was being rushed to the hospital, unconscious. Once I got there the staff informed us that he was suffering from Shaken Baby Syndrome. He had a subdural hematoma and severe Retinal hemorrhages. He was taken into emergency surgery where they drained the hematoma and removed a 7x7 piece of his skull to allow his brain room to swell. He was on a ventilator and was fighting for his life. The doctors told us he would more than likely die before the next day.
Many prayers went up that night, and we were given our Christmas Miracle.

Bryan made it through this horrible tragedy, caused by another human being and was walking(with help)around the PICU on Christmas Day 2008! This year as I watch everyone rushing around for whatever Christmas Shopping they have left to do, it seems as if they have forgotten the meaning of this celebration. God is Great! We should be so very thankful for the family and friends we all have and thank the good Lord for all the miracles he gives us every day. As I type this Bryan is counting snowflake ornaments on the Christmas tree with his brothers and smiling, laughing and loving, things that medically he should not be doing. After sustaining a brain injury as severe as he did, he medically should be dead, God truly gave me a Christmas miracle and continues to give as everyday passes and Bryan does more and more.
Merry Christmas,
Randee (Bryans Mommy)