The Shaken Baby Syndrome Support Network is formed for the families, by the families. We are here to share our stories, with the hope of helping someone else in comparable situations as ours which in some cases, go silently..
Last week, a blog entry was posted in regards to a news story about Justice for a family after 27 long years of hoping and praying. Many knew the reasoning behind the posting, and others had questions. So I am here to elaborate on the situation sharing my own personal journey, which is my personal journey, and could be deemed "opinion" in legal standings.
When I first was gathering my thoughts and feelings regarding what I felt and what so many others felt was needed for Shaken Baby Syndrome, I had one consistent thought in my mind.. "I just want a place where families can go and read. Read about coping, read other stories, and share at their own will and desire when they felt "ready" to do so in a non-opinionated environment." With that being said, knowing this is our inspirational blog, our blog of hope for those with little to none in their lives at certain points, I want to bring one thought to the forefront. If the resource can not help me.. It CAN help someone else.
Let's take a look for instance at the numerous support groups around the nation geared toward helping those with substance addictions. They are the life saving tool for so many in our world today, but in my personal case, I am blessed as I have not had to use those resources. But, they are there to help those seeking help with the problem at hand for them.
In my personal journey, the hardest subject and detour to deal with is the anger and rage instilled in my heart with no warning, and no answer as to how to deal with it "properly". I have had moments where I did not know if I would see the second because of the thoughts steering through my mind. The ones closest to me were the one subject to the most intense anger anyone should ever have to deal with. I am the girl who stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom, taking my acrylic nails to my face because I could not stand the anger and rage inside of me. I am the girl who has taken a knife to the counter top and carved "hate" into the counter top because there was no where to "point" my anger. I am the girl who refused to go to counseling for my anger and rage issues, simply because I thought I could get through this all on my own. I am the girl who wore the vulgar t-shirts and kept everyone at arms length, because I was the girl who was suffering alone, in the darkness, in my room, crying myself to sleep because I did not want to talk about it, in fear of someone else in my family hurting even a figment of the hurt I was coping with on a second to second basis.
All I wanted was to have this big answer book, this pamphlet that explained to me how to make all of this life shattering pain in my heart go away. Living through it and dealing with it, I wanted a place I could read, and sought for quite sometime other families and their stories, just to know I wasn't alone, and that when the time came and I was ready I could reach out and start this process called "healing".
I hope that everyone, and I mean all of you, whom are checking in on our blog, and following all of our postings, know that just because something may seem a bit "off" or a bit "awkward" that this is our lives, and our lives from every walk, from every perspective. It may not bring hope to you, but it just might for the next person that reads our site. In the coming weeks and days you will hear recollections from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, and many other friends and relatives of the children of SBS to see things from all views of the tragedy, and the hope that the surviving children of SBS brings to all of us.
Unfortunately for my daughter, Justice did not prevail. I think there is a completely separate grieving process when such a system as that fails.. There is a person, a person whom stated what they had done, and talked about it openly.. and attempted to "do the right thing" by stating the truth.. and the system failed my family. Do I think the outcome would be any different grieving wise? Yes, I do. There isn't "that" kind of closure for my family, because just as I sit here and type this, this woman is sitting at home, with her children...
When Ricky's mother contacted me with his story I knew in my heart I had to post the story. Not only for the family's sake, and the triumph after 27 years of longing for justice that they must feel, but for all those families, as myself, that hold hope that maybe, just maybe something will come out, something might be said, or done that could just make the failing of the justice system justified, with the perpetrator in jail. I would be lying if I told you it is not something that I think about everyday.. because I do. Too many people know the truth, and I want everyone whom has been in my shoes, and who did not receive justice, to come forth, and feel they are not silenced just because of a justification.
Yes, this is America, and you are innocent until proven guilty. When you break down the lines of those whom have been failed by the system, you start to see the haze, and understand, sadly, you are not alone. I have seen too many families silenced because they have been told that they can not speak of this, because of the verdict in the court room.
This blog is a blog of hope and a blog of inspiration. I invite all of you to come forth when you feel you are ready, to share your stories, and to know that maybe those things left in your heart that you feel uncomfortable speaking of, can be easily typed and posted anonymous. The only way to move through the act of violence is to speak of the unconditional terms of the justice system. We don't just welcome parents of survivors, or parents of victims, or parents children whom have been shaken and have or haven't received justice. We welcome you ALL to take part. In order to be the support group we aspire to be, we have our mat at the door and a pot of coffee on.. Come on in.
The process we must live through is not always inspirational, but know our goal is to help you, the ones suffering in silence, and work together with the ones seeking to do good in their lives to help others know they do not have to suffer alone. We stand together, and make a declaration of hope to the families of Shaken Baby Syndrome. We are here, when your foundation is crumbling before your feet, read silently or speak loudly, because we are, the Shaken Baby Syndrome Support Network.
All my best, and warm thoughts;
Rachel
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